Sometimes, the realization of just how quickly this world wants to throw us into the middle of it becomes a closer reality.
When I woke my daughter yesterday morning, she sat up and uncharacteristically launched into this serious conversation with me. Now we don't have these types of conversations too often -- yet, that is. Thankfully. Normally, the dilemmas of her age involve typically simpler things, like "Do I HAVE to wear my snow boots to school?", or "But I don't LIKE broccoli!", or more recently "Dad, I can't give you a kiss when you drop me off at school...all my friends are WATCHING!" Sigh.
So, I asked her what was up. She begins to get all teary-eyed and immediately blurts out, "I want to tell you something, but I know you probably won't be happy." I calmed her down and reassured her that I loved her, promising that I would always listen. I also encouraged her to tell the truth, something we try always to remind them of.
She sniffled a bit, took this deep breath, then said, "You know that boy, Elijah, from my class at school? He asked if he could be my boyfriend." She bit her lip and looked at me with worried eyes.
Whoa, what was that? My mind reeled for a moment, my brain apparently not fully awake itself. I quickly wanted to say, "Who asked you what?? Doesn't he know you cannot even think of those things until you're 30?!", but I didn't. Instead I took a deep breath myself, slowly began stroking her hair to calm her down, and asked, "So what did you say?"
"I didn't say anything, Dad. We just kept chasing our friends around the playground."
Whew, was that ever a relief…apparently she wasn't interested in having a boyfriend. She obviously had been all worried since yesterday that she had done something wrong. That somehow she had either made Elijah feel bad for asking or had wronged her parents for even engaging in a conversation of the like. Wow, score one for 'Praying your child experiences a somewhat normalized childhood in this day and age'!
Holding her hand, I commended her for not just joining in on the boyfriend/girlfriend scene just yet. I then explained to her that God had a plan for her life and that she didn't need to worry about those other types of things right now. "Just be his friend, hon", I said and gave her a kiss on the head.
Her eyes went back to that familiar sparkle I know, and out of bed she bounded to get ready for school.
. . . .
Okay you think the story is funny. But I can plainly understand. I mean, what's the big deal anyway. All kids go through this at some time, right? Well, the thing is this...she's only six years old.
Now before some of you think I am going diving into the deeper end of the pool, let me explain.
Firstly, I guess I am just expressing what every parent tends to think of when they hit that "boyfriend/girlfriend" stage in their children's lives. And if you have a son or daughter this age (or somewhere in that gradeschool timeline), I guessing you will eventually run into this sometime soon yourself. But more importantly, I already understand this world has this way of creeping up on us. Even more surprising is how it affects our children and tries to make them grow up much faster than they should. And every day, it creeps closer and closer. Sometimes you can see it coming from a mile away; other times it is very subtle. Reality check? Things I remember not experiencing until high school are now occuring with kids as early as middleschool. And sometimes,
even gradeschool. That's an eye-opener.
Though I certainly believe 'Elijah's' intentions for my kindergarten-aged daughter were non-egregious, and I don't believe my daughter would have run off and gotten married to this boy resulting from these playground actions anytime soon, it does go to show how quickly our kids are forced to engage a world that pits kids against older-aged situations every day. Honestly, I'm not ready for her to begin thinking of what a 'boyfriend' is, nor why she needs one. Let alone what a 'girlfriend' is supposed to do! Being six years old is supposed to mean living an innocent existence, isn't it? At least, I thought it used to be.
Be it as it may, I cannot keep my daughter as a six year old forever. And I also cannot be there when she eventually faces every situation as she grows up. But I do believe God has intended a plan for our kids to live with simple innocence as long as we can allow as parents.
Of course, there will come a time when those things change and they are thrust into the complexities this world contains. We cannot shield them forever, obviously, but we can help them along the way. Help them understand God's love and plan for our lives. The Bible outlines that plan for each of us, be it as adolescents or adults. And knowing and applying that plan can hopefully help us not become so caught up in this world.
My desire for my daughter is that she understands God has a plan for her life. That growing up will come in time, and that playing on the playground can be and should be as simple and innocent as God intended it to be for her.
Honestly, I don’t mind dealing with those simpler dilemmas where my daughter yells, "My (little) brother is in my room dancing in his underwear, and he won't get OUT!" Sigh. I enjoy those days. And I know, some day, those days will end.
I have my days where nothing seems to matter, where I try my hardest and it seems to be all in vain. Then there are times when things seem to be running smoothly, everything seems to be going right, and then something happens and it makes me feel insignificant and/or worthless.
